First, miss melanie texted me around midnight or so last night asking me to fish sit while she was on vacation. Ergo, this conversation:
Melanie: Feeding him is very difficult
Kristen: Lol crushing the food into the bowl?
Melanie: Yes. if you feed him too much, he'll die. too little-he'll die. And he's pretty much my life so don't kill him.
Kristen: Pressure. Of all the things to be your life.. Your family, your fiance, your best friend....No, its the fish. The tenth fish in a line of dead ones....
Melanie: Yeah pretty much
Kristen: So how do i know ho much is too much? Or too little? And if I do kill him, can I just buy you a better one?
Melanie: Yes. And the size of a dime. or a penny in the morning
Kristen: A penny is bigger than a dime right? And how often do I feed him?
Melanie: Just once
Kristen: So if I only feed him once... Why would it sometimes be a dime and sometimes a penny?
Melanie: No, only once in the morning. No smaller than a dime but no bigger than a penny.
Kristen: You know what, just kill him now. I'm sure its easier on the poor fish than leaving him in my hands. I'll spend the whole week trying to measure a penny of fish food and never actually feed him. JUST KIDDING he will be in (somewhat) capable hands
So only once a day in the morning somewhat larger than a dime while still smaller than a penny. Am i correct?
Melanie: Yes
Kristen: Can I ask just one more question?
Melanie: Yeah
Kristen: Do you remember the exact day you went crazy or is it all just kind of a blur now?
Melanie: I think I've just always been this way.. why do you ask?
Kristen: Oh no reason... I've just never heard of a crazy fish lady before. Normally it has something to do with cats. I commend you though, fish are indeed cleaner and less moody (as far as I can tell)
Thats pretty much it before we changed subjects.
SO TODAY after work I recruited lara to help me bring the fish to my house. He spilt all over me, all over lara, and all over my car [which now stinks of fish]. Lara looked like she wizzed herself, I am just soaked, and poor motototo (so nice you say it twice!) was left with half a bowl of water.




NOW taking bets on when the fish will die. I bet by the time I wake up tomorrow. I have until Monday to keep him alive.